Why does fighting feel good

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Be sure you and your partner are on the same page. In any argument you have, always remember how much your SO means to you. It doesn't make it okay or excuse the behavior, but arguing with a mutual respect will keep your relationship healthy.

You know what the low blows could be, but no matter how angry you become, treat your SO with respect. This will help you bounce back after the fight. For some, the only way to recover from an argument is therapy. After an argument, you may be feeling pretty fragile or upset.

Make sure you're taking good care of yourself. Once you're feeling better, your relationship will feel better too. Don't drive as you are likely not in a great frame of mind. Be willing to have an agreement as a couple that when you argue there is a designated cooling off time at which you are alone, you regroup individually, and you come back together. You also may just need some alone time. Depending on how much you're fighting, Hill recommended taking some time apart to determine why the fighting started and what you can do about it.

If you've been finding yourself in daily fights with your SO over chores or nitpicking, take a step back and ask yourself what this is really about. Is there a bigger issue at play here? If you're always fighting about the same things, it's safe to say you never manage to resolve the conflict.

If you and your SO just can't seem to get it together when it comes to common arguments, start thinking outside the box. Maybe seeing a professional could be helpful. After a tough argument with your SO, take some time to process it on your own.

Think about what you could learn about yourself and your relationship from that fight. If there were some thoughts that could be heard, but not others, you analyze that. If you and your SO can't seem to get through a full day without biting each other's heads off for something, it may be time to talk with someone.

A therapist or counselor can act as an unbiased witness to help you move past the littleness you're currently trapped in. Working with couples, they recover from fighting when they begin to understand the other's consciousness without feeling blamed or unloved. Arguments and disagreements are a natural part of any relationship, so it's best to make a plan for addressing them now.

At the end of the day, your SO is the most important person in your life, so it may be time to just let it go in order to move on and be happy. When one or both of you are committed to being right, there's no middle ground," relationship expert April Masini told me.

In fact, they may start telling you that, actually, you're right — because they're so happy to hear you let them win. Your body goes into fight or flight Shutterstock. You won't be able to think straight Shutterstock.

You may get sick Shutterstock. There are a few things in life that get me going: a good cup of coffee, watermelon-shaped sour candy, a blank Microsoft Word document, and fighting. Being an effective fighter requires physical conditioning and technical training, a solid understanding of tactics, strategies, patterns, and systems, and a firm control over your own ego and emotions. But after the struggles of training and competition comes the sweet contrast of tranquility. The calm after the storm is something to appreciate, but one that I believe is often overlooked.

A concept from positive psychology coined by Russian psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, flow state is a state of heightened focus, immersion, and enjoyment, with individuals often referred to as being in the zone. My sense of time disappears and I become lost in the task in front of me. So many of my lifestyle decisions are made with my next training session or competition in mind. Motivation to eat right, stay in shape, and take care of my body becomes easy when such an important part of my life is influencing my behavior.

However, improving as a martial artist means more than just getting better at fighting. Martial arts changes how I approach work, school, family, and social interactions. I want to be a better person because I understand the effect it will have on my life as a martial artist, and vice versa.

But I can appreciate how intellectually stimulating the game can be. There are many comparisons drawn between chess and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, as the two activities share many similarities regarding strategy and tactics in a 1 vs 1 battle. Trying to solve the puzzle of human limbs, movement, pressure, force and angles is engaging, frustrating, and satisfying all at the same time. Will you give up when things become difficult?

The opponent in front of you is merely a tool to test your own personal and martial arts development. The battle is your own, and more often than not you are fighting to overcome the dark corners of your mind more than you are fighting to overcome your opponent.