Why i aborted

I had no idea that the average abortion patient is all of us. I was going to a Catholic high school, and in health class we never talked about sex. The scariest part of the whole experience was not having anyone to share it with. I read on the Internet that minors can get a judicial bypass, but I was nervous it would take a long time—when I lay down and sucked in, there was a little bump on my tummy.

Finally, I got up the courage to tell them. Both my parents took me. I was at twenty weeks, just a few days away from being too late. During the ultrasound, the technician told me how big the head was—it was the most scarring thing. The next day, the procedure took fifteen minutes.

I slept for the rest of the day. I was grateful my parents were there. I feel bad that it was so far along, developed. In my government class, we spent a whole week on abortion. It was awful. I was 19, at college in Michigan. When we got to the clinic, the waiting room was full, and I remember thinking, Wow, some of these girls are from school.

I paid for it with my tax return, and-something-dollars. I chose to stay awake during the procedure, even though I was afraid of the pain. The second time, I was 24, living in Atlanta, and into my career.

It hit me more emotionally. At first I thought, Well, I love my husband, and we have plenty of money. Pittsburgh has world-class medical centers, but it took a couple of days to get an appointment. Pennsylvania is one of 26 states that require a waiting period between counseling and the procedure.

We went back the next day. The staff was great. It felt a lot like a regular checkup but with painful cramping. My insurance covered the whole thing. Michelle, 62 New York, It was November. At work, a wonderful older guy, a father figure, told me about a doctor on the Upper East Side. That money was very special to me, one of the only things I had from my father, and it made me feel like a criminal that I had to spend that money that way.

I was four months pregnant. On the subway ride home, I could feel the blood seeping through my jeans. When I took off my jeans, blood covered my thighs. I realize now that I was in labor. I thought I might die there in my apartment. When I was 17, the toughest part was being asked if I wanted to see the ultrasound. That was the first time it was really presented to me, real. I went on birth control right after, but it gave me mood swings, made me feel terrible, so after a couple of years I went off it.

The second time was harder because I got pregnant with my boyfriend. I took the pill overnight, hunched in bed, cramping unbelievably, and he sat up with me all night. Well, I think he fell asleep once, but I woke him up. I went to work the next day.

I think a lot of girls in my circle look at each other and think no one else has gone through it. It does affect you. Sometimes you regret and sometimes you feel good.

You think, The baby would be a year old now. That night, he played Call of Duty, this very gory war game that was his life.

I slept alone. It mattered to me what the father wanted to do. It was an epiphany. I went by myself. I took the first pill and was given a prescription for Vicodin. My friend came to use hers. I told her everything. At her apartment, I was puking and pooping, everything at the same time, delirious, unable to stand up.

I left him. I made it to school again. I rediscovered all these things I like to do. Frances, 18 Texas, Because I was only 16, I needed to go to the court.

Everything took about a week. First I went to get an ultrasound—I was nervous, but it was like a usual checkup. I met with a lawyer, and then me, and my lawyer, the judge, and a lady who typed everything sat at a table.

It was a little awkward—the judge was an older man. After growing up Catholic, I felt really ashamed having to tell him, but I knew what I wanted, and he understood, which was amazing. My boyfriend was a dropout. After I got approval from the judge, I went to Planned Parenthood with my papers.

I was nervous. The worst part was with my boyfriend. He was my first. I woke up in a gurney in the hallway, surrounded by chaos. No one checked on me. About three years later, in L.

There was this lightbulb moment when I realized I had health insurance. I respect that it was an emotional experience for him.

I never think about the abortions. I end up comforting them. I went directly to the doctor. I was in my gym clothes, obviously distraught. I called clinics all over until I found one a four-hour drive away in Tennessee.

I drove four hours by myself, thinking about what an idiot I was for stopping birth control. I took the first pill in Tennessee.

I took the second one the next day, on the Fourth of July, my favorite holiday. I was expecting something terrible. I watched movies alone. My parents are progressive and always said I needed an education. It was my senior year of high school. My boyfriend was homeless. I bought a pregnancy test at Duane Reade and went to the bathroom in the middle of class.

I sort of panicked but also thought, Let me get back to this tomorrow. On the train going home, I saw a sign. It was one of those places where they convince you to keep the baby. Later, I went to see a counselor, and she made an appointment at Planned Parenthood. I had it on a Friday so I could recover for school. On Monday, I found a note on my bed—my boyfriend had left for California.

When I got pregnant later that year, I was in Argentina. I drove around with a doctor looking for someone who would do it. And I was in love, I guess. Given this, when faced with the reality that their birth control failed , many women are conflicted over what to do.

For some, abortion is against her morality or religious beliefs, yet not for others. The public debate over abortion also makes the choice more complex. The decision to seek an abortion is multifaceted and usually heart-wrenching for the people involved. Research further establishes that women who chose abortion stress how they consciously examined the moral aspects of their abortion decision.

Though some women believed abortion was wrong and sinful, many of them and others, in general believed that carelessly having a child was sinful as well. They decided an abortion was the correct and most responsible choice. Most women who have chosen to terminate their pregnancies will speak to the complexity of their decision as well as how intense and difficult it is to make a decision. Women take into account the moral weight of their responsibilities to their families, themselves, and children they might have in the future.

Personal, family, social, moral, and economic factors all factor into reasons for abortion. Understanding the complexity of this decision and the reasons why a woman chooses to exercise this choice may open the doorway for compassion and understanding for women face in this painful situation. According to a study from the University of California, San Francisco, women sought an abortion if a pregnancy was unplanned and had an adverse impact on either a relationship, educational or career plans, or the ability to care for current children.

The impact of an unplanned pregnancy on finances, education, work, and relationships are common reasons for an abortion. By contrast, a woman is less likely to seek an abortion if she simply "didn't want" a baby, didn't "feel mature enough" to have a baby, or was influenced by others to have an abortion. The decision to terminate a pregnancy for medical reasons can be a difficult one but may be recommended if:. Late-term abortions performed after 21 weeks account for only 1.

The majority of these are for medical reasons. Due to abortion restrictions in some states as well as longstanding issues related to poverty, self-abortion is on the rise in the United States.

According to the Guttmacher Institute, there were no less than 90 abortion restrictions enacted in alone—the most ever for a single year. In total, 21 state legislatures have enacted abortion restrictions since and 1, since the Supreme Court ruled on Roe v. Wade in Sign up for our Health Tip of the Day newsletter, and receive daily tips that will help you live your healthiest life.

Understanding why women seek abortions in the US. BMC Womens Health. Clinicians' perspectives of parental decision-making following diagnosis of a severe congenital anomaly: A qualitative study. BMJ Open. Kaiser Family Foundation. Abortion in later pregnancy. Updated December 5, Prevalence of self-managed abortion among women of reproductive age in the United States. Guttmacher Institute. I had an abortion at the age of 14 in the state of Washington.

I had to travel an hour to a Planned Parenthood facility to have the procedure. I never told anyone until I had graduated at the age of I had two abortions in New Jersey.

Each time, I was about 5 weeks pregnant, according to the doctors. I knew instantly, as soon as I discovered I was pregnant, that I wanted an abortion, there was no question. I wanted nothing to do with the fathers of the babies, both of whom I had dated and had raped me, and one of whom otherwise abused me regularly. I knew that if I had a child I would be tied to those men for the rest of my life. I also did not want to go through the pain of pregnancy and delivery, nor did I want to care for, nor try to financially support a child.

After my second abortion I woke up crying and the doctor was yelling at me for crying. A very nice volunteer came to comfort me. I told her right then and there, on the bed, that I wanted my tubes tied. I was shocked when she told me I would basically have to beg a doctor to do it, that it wasn't really up to me. We even lost over half of our clinics following the passage of HB2 — which imposed medically unnecessary regulations on providers, or TRAP laws.

Navigating the restrictions were difficult, but I was treated with the utmost kindness from the clinic staff — something that led me to later work there as a counselor. I joined We Testify Texas to continue sharing my truth and experiences in hopes of someone else having an easier experience than I did. I was a college student in when I had my abortion. It was the right choice for me because I was single and it was an unplanned pregnancy.

Luckily, the doctor made it in that day, and I had my abortion as scheduled. I was relieved because it was the first time I really started to take charge of my sexual health and really became aware of how restrictive state abortion policies can affect ordinary women like me. In June , I was in my second of five years at an accelerated college. I was entering the first round of internship interviews and juggling Spring term finals as well. I was stressed to the max but my desire to persevere was extremely strong so I just kept pushing through the whirlwind schedule of study-research-write-interview-research-write-study-interview.

It only took three days before my body rebelled and hit me with a wave of shortness of breath and a tightness in my chest. After the fourth of the 10 interviews I had scheduled, I flung myself through the doors of the ER. As it turns out, I was death-free and pregnancy positive.

There was never a doubt in my mind that I was going to have an abortion. Terrifying as that prospect was, reality set in that I was completely unqualified for motherhood at 20 years old. I went to Planned Parenthood the next day and began the process of my abortion.

The staff at Planned Parenthood were sweet and cordial and never made me question my decision. I was and am still grateful that I had so much control over my abortion, as every person should have the right to.

I have had four abortions. I never used to talk about them to anyone. When I had to fill out the information sheet at the doctor where they ask how many pregnancies, I would always lie. Even staunchly pro-choice friends made incredibly judgmental remarks about people having more than one abortion.

When I began working with Shout Your Abortion a friend told me maybe I should lie and say I only had two, because I'd be hurting my own cause otherwise. I thought I was definitely the only one who had had so many abortions. I was scared of other people's reactions and didn't feel strong enough to deal with them. I also didn't know how I actually felt about my own abortions. When your society is steeped in stigma, shame, and dishonesty, it's challenging to find your real thoughts.

Telling the truth works! I had one abortion with one partner, and three with another partner. The last three all occurred within a two-year timespan.

They also happened during a pretty profound period of dissociation and disconnect from my own body, where nothing really felt solid or real. Staying alive from day to day was very much the goal, and I wasn't capable of anything beyond that. I don't mention this because I think it is an excuse or justification for having four abortions, but rather to point out that life is very complicated.

There are so many reasons why people have multiple abortions. I took the test in a Starbucks bathroom. I was 17, scared, ashamed, but mostly just pregnant. I knew I wanted an abortion before I even talked to my boyfriend.

She rubbed my back while I puked, then brought me apples and peanut butter, like a child myself. My second abortion was a secret. I only told two people I was pregnant, and with those people it was never discussed. I had the surgical abortion in the clinic and went to work managing a mayoral campaign immediately after. I was drinking one or two bottles of wine each night, so the morning sickness felt like another in a long string of increasingly bad hangovers.

Maybe this time, I thought, I should just have a kid. Recently, my doctor explained that I ovulate while on hormonal birth control, which is why I keep getting pregnant. Abortion is freedom. I am happy, whole and alive because of safe abortion.

I found myself pregnant at the age of 34, and was basically in shock. I had always had an irregular cycle, so I had no way of knowing that a late period meant anything, on top of which I always assumed given my period irregularities and advancing age I would probably have a hard time getting pregnant.

I took a test in the bathroom of the office building where I had been working a temp job, and it immediately came up positive. When I told my mother, she basically just said "good, so you're going to have it. I took 10 days to make my decision. I made one appointment, and canceled it. I searched pro-choice websites, desperate to find stories like mine, stories of women who wanted to be mothers, and were approaching an age where it may be harder to get pregnant in the future, but who also knew that they were not in the right circumstances to have a child at that point in their lives.

I knew if I had a child I would love my child fiercely, but Basically I deferred my dream to become a mom until I had the kind of life that my child and I both deserved. At the same time, I feel so fortunate that I was able to access care with few restrictions, and it was as easy as a telephone call and showing up to a clinic within a week. I was around 9 weeks pregnant by the time I had my abortion, and I chose a surgical procedure with general anesthesia.

The doctor was very caring, and the packed waiting room really brought home to me how desperately needed this right to abortion is for women. The actual procedure itself was nearly painless. The emotional toll it took was definitely harder. It was the right decision, but that did not make it an easy one. I had my abortion last November, on Thanksgiving.

This was not my time, and I never hesitated. I owe Planned Parenthood that confidence, and safety I felt to so easily draw my conclusions. When I could barely get through a boxing class I picked one up on the way home. I never even got up from the toilet before I saw the result and started crying.

My partner ran from the kitchen and held me there. He held me and told me everything would be ok, and helped me gather myself and we headed for the computer. When I called, terrified, the next day I was told [my local clinic] was booked for a month, and I would need to drive almost three hours [to another].

I had to take a day off a brand new job. Instead you are forced to be pregnant another week or two. That was excruciating to me. The wait. I wore sweats. I withdrew from everyone. I felt disconnected and disgusted by my changing body. I was sick. Luckily for me, I chose a medication abortion, the pills, so I just needed a quick second appointment.

It was surreal. When my abortion was finally done, in my bathroom at home, the wave of relief was indescribable. A depression, and sadness started to lift, and I felt like a human being again. I felt like me. I had an abortion seven years ago in Indiana , and even then, the abortion restrictions in the Midwest were severe.

I had to view a medically unnecessary ultrasound, attend mandatory counseling sessions, and travel an hour back and forth several times that month, and walk into a clinic surrounded by protesters telling me I will burn in hell, all to get two pills to terminate my week pregnancy—all of that unnecessary trauma for two pills. I knew what I wanted to do and have never regretted my decision, but I had to contend with unnecessary abortion restrictions designed to shame me into changing my mind, or to have to cancel the procedure because of all the financial strain these restrictions caused.

My abortion saved my life—it let me escape an abusive relationship and go onto marry my soulmate, earn three college degrees, and become the person I was meant to be. No one should be forced into parenthood. I had my first abortion when I was 20 years old. As soon as I found out I was pregnant I knew without hesitation that I would have an abortion. It was , and my relative privilege afforded me the knowledge that it would be easy for me, while my healthcare coverage assured me I would suffer no financial strain as a result.

The entire experience was wonderful. I was a nervous kid who had no idea what to expect, and I was treated with nothing but absolute respect by everyone from the receptionist to the doctor to the nurses in post-op. It's been over 16 years, and I can confidently say that in that time I have never once had a more positive, affirming, and comfortable experience in a healthcare setting than I did that day.

My second abortion was almost exactly two years later. This time I went to Planned Parenthood and received the abortion pills.

Nobody joked around with me this time, which was a little disappointing because jokes help my nerves, but overall it was a positive experience with lasting effects.

The folks at PP got me on birth control right away and I went on to return to them for my reproductive care for 5 more years, receiving education and treatment which prevented me from having to ever have another abortion. I was 21 the first time I got pregnant. I was in college then, and the pregnancy itself was no easy road. It was during that experience of being young and afraid of a million unknowns, while also being fully supported by a loving family and partner, that I truly understood why others could not make the choice I had.

I now have five children total, two adopted. That unplanned baby of my youth is heading into her first year of college. I have no paid time off and my responsibilities as a mom are already sometimes more than I can hold. I surely cannot hold another and I know this in my bones. The lengths I would go to save myself and the children I already have are immeasurable.

Afterwards, I am relieved and I am grateful and I am again wildly connected, this time to those who want to or need to, but cannot, make this choice. I found out I was pregnant on Saturday September 26, and had an abortion the following Tuesday, September I was 24 years old at the time and in a relationship with a man considerably older than me who I currently don't speak with anymore.

Between finding out I was pregnant and having my abortion, I only told him and one other person my costar in the play I was in at the time and no one else. The logistics of my abortion were easy because I was financially stable and was able to make an appointment at the Planned Parenthood quickly.

But I also felt really lonely which was a feeling that surprised me as someone who has always been very pro-choice. I opted for the procedure, the wait was several hours long but the procedure turned out to not be as painful as I had thought.

My partner at the time waited in the waiting room and brought me food afterwards. I felt lucky that my partner was there but when I saw him I felt lonelier than ever. I wanted to call my mom so badly but I was afraid of what she would say, especially because she didn't like our relationship. When I was 19 I chose to undergo corrective underbite jaw surgery. Before the surgery, I had to pee in a cup for them to test for pregnancy. Standard procedure. Recovering was not easy but I noticed I missed my period and i figured it was due to the pain medicine and stress on my body from a major surgery.

Later I started getting really worried and I took a pregnancy test, I prepared myself for what I already knew was happening. I looked at the positive pregnancy test and I broke down in my bathroom.

I want to go to medical school and be a doctor, not be a mom that struggles to feed her baby. I told my boyfriend of 2 years and we cried together because we really did want to keep it and love it.

I worried that due to me being put under for surgery and being on many pain meds it would have harmed the baby. Eventually I booked an appointment for a medical abortion and we drove three hours to the office. We waited about three hours and the doctor gave me a pill to take then to stop the pregnancy, and 4 pills to insert 24 hours later to cause the bleeding and expelling.

But the next day I was fine, it was like I was having a very heavy period and then I went back to normal. Fast forward to March and I ran out of birth control. I had my period at the end of March and I thought everything was fine, until I did not get my period for April. I quickly took a pregnancy test and it was positive yet again. I was just shocked at how easily I got pregnant while so many women struggle to get pregnant.

I booked an appointment at an office five hours away to get a surgical abortion. I was terrified. This time really messed me up and I definitely feel really guilty. When I am ready for a baby I want to be able to spoil my little angel and not be forced into having it due to lack of choice, struggling to make it by.

I asked my doc if my [military health insurance] covered abortion procedures and he responded that not only do they not cover it , but if there were any complications they would also not cover those. Pretty scary words coming from a person I respected and trusted. I called the local clinic and chatted on the phone with a woman that told me they could not schedule an appointment any sooner than a week from the call. I made the appointment exactly a week from the call.

I went to work and worked with hazardous materials for the week before wondering if I was going to change my mind. I wondered if changing my mind would mean I had a pregnancy that was exposed to all of the fluids that make military aircraft fly.

I wondered if the fumes and stress from being in the nations most intense fighting force would cause any issues. Most importantly I wondered why I had to wait for 7 days when I knew what I wanted. I wondered why I had to go through this week of wondering that lead me back to the exact same conclusion I came to the first time I thought it over. The day of the abortion comes around and I walk into the clinic. I see another marine there. It was really comforting. I go to the back room and start my appointment.

In the appointment they do a trans-vaginal ultrasound because the cluster of cells is so small it cannot be picked up by standard ultrasound machines. For easy lubrication and clean up they put a condom on the trans-vaginal ultrasound machine before they inserted it into my body. Looking back and finding out that there was no need to do that makes me feel violated and sad.

They offered me a picture of the sonogram and I said yes and took it.